Roller Coaster

Yesterday I received a happy email that made the “little me” jump up and down with joy. It is always a pleasure to hear the experiences that your students go through as they develop their practice.

Then, not five minutes later, I received a second message from my cousin telling me that my dad had fainted once again over the weekend, which has been happening periodically for the last few months. Luckily with this latest fall he didn't injure himself and it was only a short visit to the hospital that didn't require him to stay long.

In those first few minutes after receiving such news, you question every single decision about your life — why you left, how you dare to miss important life moments of your family (all my family is in Buenos Aires), and so on. It was like drinking a gallon of diluted guilt. And realizing how small we are in the grand scheme of things and events.

It takes a while to put things back in perspective and remind yourself of all the wonderful things that have happened to you: a new home in a new land, your pets, your career, your husband, and so on.

You take a breath and find your center and remind yourself that love is not measured by miles and that none of us is really in control of anything.


Part of me was singing joyfully for the first, happy message I received. Part of me was saddened with uncertainty and worry from the second message.

But beneath the ups and downs of roller coaster emotions at the surface, I could still sense an underlying feeling of gratitude and contentment.

Are we able to experience gratitude, appreciation even when everything is not glittery?

Is it being able to stay grounded and centered between the ups and downs of life that makes us whole beings? I am starting to think it is.

Is bittersweet the new sweet? It just might be. :-)

Adrian Molina is a yoga teacher, writer and meditation practitioner living in New York City. He developed the Warrior Flow style of yoga and teaches at Equinox fitness centers, in private sessions, and at retreats. He shares inspiration and teachings frequently on his web site Warrior Flow, his Facebook page, and his Twitter feed.