F@#$%g Worth It

Many years ago I began to change course, steering my ship toward spiritual books, yoga, meditation, and anything else that offered light at the end of the dark tunnel of confusion that was my life. Nothing was terribly wrong. Quite the opposite: I was an average, decent, good young man, I think. My life just lacked meaning. I was a salad with no dressing, a phone with poor reception. My personal relationships were difficult on all fronts, and I simply was not in a good place. Basically, life sucked.

I began to read, to explore, to do yoga, to meditate, and little by little, it became easier to handle my self-created “dramas.”

It’s been about thirteen years since then, and while I am more comfortable in my older, semi-permeable skin and I’m in a better and healthier place overall, I never feel like I have mastered any of the spiritual lessons that I have been working on. I never feel 100 percent satisfied with my learning curve or with myself. I am that dissatisfied customer in the store of my own life, bitching and making a scene at the cash register.